a meta post about where else Clancy Steadwell has been online, being overwhelmed by notifications, and the constant urge to hit the Delete Publication button
I think for those of us who didn't have much of a social life growing up, whether from strict parents or exclusion because of introversion, we struggle more with the waves of attention, as we've had no proving grounds to acclimatise to the feelings it can evoke. It is like a drug, a drug I never got to experiment with as a kid or a teen.
Also, being good writers often means that the best of who we are is online or contained in a book. Which means I value the online doppelganger of me more than the me that blushes easily or can come across as boring or rude because I am nowhere near as proficient in talking to humans as I am in writing about them.
Honestly, thank you for recommending this post, a lot of what you wrote about really hit home.
p.s I've seen a lot of people on Reddit like Jay, I think you're right, they're not happy people.
>> Also, being good writers often means that the best of who we are is online or contained in a book. Which means I value the online doppelganger of me more than the me that blushes easily or can come across as boring or rude because I am nowhere near as proficient in talking to humans as I am in writing about them. >>
i think you're right in you first paragraph as well but this one rings especially true. and also why i think i'm "good" at substack (relatively). i'm a totally different person in real life.
Enjoyed the range of emotions on this trip down online lane.
My online footprint outside of here is a sprinkling of shredded wheat level dry LinkedIn and some banter on the lone reddit page I visit… none other than r/fantasyPL. Proper football animals on that one.
A story about a bunch of ageing hipsters trying to resurrect AOL Instant messenger to relive their middle school glory is kind of just the kind of thing I'd be into reading. It doesn't have to be fiction...
I enjoyed reading this and I respect your ability to rid yourself of most social media platforms since 2020. I'm been in the pre-contemplative stage of shutting down some of my accounts, but it remains the only line of communication with friends and family who seem to be allergic to phone calls and texts. Thank you for sharing such a personal history. I empathize with the lingering worry of being focused more on the notifications and engagement for attention fix than the ability to connect with readers and share creative works. Best of luck to you on your journey and success here on Substack!
thanks for reading SK. FB was the hardest one vis a vis friends and family but honestly, after a couple weeks, you forget about it. it's definitely less distracting, but Substack itself is a whole new distraction!
That is a honest point. I find myself scroll and jumping around Substack just as much as other social media platforms to the point where I neglect my opportunities for creative writing. It becomes an exercise in being your own parent to go online.
I really loved this, Clancy. Like we’ve established before with other subjects, we had a very similar relationship with the internet too. I never did have an instagram or twitter account, but I’m still dealing with a lingering Reddit addiction that I can’t quite seem to kick. I’m a person who thinks, in general, I’d be better off not engaging with any of these platforms, but Substack has also made me have to reevaluate that feeling. Really impressed with this.
I enjoyed this post Clancy and could relate as per usual with your works. I guess I missed something along the way. I have to take breaks more often than I'd prefer. So it's not surprising I'm behind...but you make this place interesting for me. Love your writing, love the stories, and generally enjoy your notes. When I get back from a break, I always check in with your page. You brighten this online space for a lot of people. I hope you will stay for awhile longer.
thanks peter, i really appreciate it. you've been there the whole time. it's good you take breaks; i probably don't take as many as I need to. I dont want to let you down !
You probably have the urge to stop it all because of how many people are bad faith and would like nothing more than to see if you say something ‘cancelable’. The body is on defense all the time because smart sensitive people know they are being scrutinized. And it doesn’t feel good.
Did you ever figure out how to get AOL Instant Messenger back up and running? I too was absolutely sick at it. One more dying Medium that I mastered too late.
I really enjoyed this -- I'm sorry substack can be hard, but I really resonated with the experience you're describing, and it's nice to know another writer I admire is grappling with similar difficulties. In the end, substack works for me (and it sounds like, you) better than any other platform, but that definitely doesn't mean it's perfect.
thanks for reading caroline. substack is great, but like you said it’s still social media all the same and it gives me all the discomforts. trying to work my way through it instead of abandoning it like everything else. i’m sure you’re handling it far better than i am!
"P.S. I forgot Discord:" For some reason, this cracked me up, i loved it. And good luck finding the balance of engagement. Just seeing the number of comments on your post makes me panicky!
This is very interesting. As someone who basically avoided social media until Substack (aside from occasionally reading & getting banned from reddit) I sometimes feel like my brain is cleaner than my peers.
thanks Daniel, I feel like it's not so much cleaner, but unexposed. I think it left me out of a lot of the prevailing popular thought of the time and i need to catch up on it. but also, that worldview is what makes me unique. so it is, as you say, interesting.
The way you've written about the internet feels more honest than what I'm used to seeing, for example from people like Patricia Lockwood. I'd love to see these sites depicted in fiction as they really are/were. For example I've always felt that 90% of the reason men use social media is to chase girls, but it's somewhat taboo to just say that. Seems like an interesting to thing to write about, for someone who participated in that culture.
i only used dating apps to chase girls. i think the reality is 90% of life is to chase girls for a lot of men and thereby social media was an ends to that. you're not wrong. if someone is going to write that novel it won't be me because i skipped out
Yet you wrote, "I had a Tumblr to follow girls I liked." I think a lot of men use Instagram for the same reason. And some men pontificate on Twitter to attract women. And yes, that is true about men in general. But like I said, it's kind of a taboo to admit it. Someone who can break that taboo in the right way will make great art.
Really interesting reflections, Clancy. The ambivalence is real! I’m thinking back to before social media, and those times I wanted to share something, but didn’t know what or with who. So I’d write my diary. I’d probably have loved Substack back then, though!
I think for those of us who didn't have much of a social life growing up, whether from strict parents or exclusion because of introversion, we struggle more with the waves of attention, as we've had no proving grounds to acclimatise to the feelings it can evoke. It is like a drug, a drug I never got to experiment with as a kid or a teen.
Also, being good writers often means that the best of who we are is online or contained in a book. Which means I value the online doppelganger of me more than the me that blushes easily or can come across as boring or rude because I am nowhere near as proficient in talking to humans as I am in writing about them.
Honestly, thank you for recommending this post, a lot of what you wrote about really hit home.
p.s I've seen a lot of people on Reddit like Jay, I think you're right, they're not happy people.
>> Also, being good writers often means that the best of who we are is online or contained in a book. Which means I value the online doppelganger of me more than the me that blushes easily or can come across as boring or rude because I am nowhere near as proficient in talking to humans as I am in writing about them. >>
i think you're right in you first paragraph as well but this one rings especially true. and also why i think i'm "good" at substack (relatively). i'm a totally different person in real life.
Enjoyed the range of emotions on this trip down online lane.
My online footprint outside of here is a sprinkling of shredded wheat level dry LinkedIn and some banter on the lone reddit page I visit… none other than r/fantasyPL. Proper football animals on that one.
sounds like just the right of internet to me. thanks for reading, as ever matt
A story about a bunch of ageing hipsters trying to resurrect AOL Instant messenger to relive their middle school glory is kind of just the kind of thing I'd be into reading. It doesn't have to be fiction...
that would be a lot of fun to write
I enjoyed reading this and I respect your ability to rid yourself of most social media platforms since 2020. I'm been in the pre-contemplative stage of shutting down some of my accounts, but it remains the only line of communication with friends and family who seem to be allergic to phone calls and texts. Thank you for sharing such a personal history. I empathize with the lingering worry of being focused more on the notifications and engagement for attention fix than the ability to connect with readers and share creative works. Best of luck to you on your journey and success here on Substack!
thanks for reading SK. FB was the hardest one vis a vis friends and family but honestly, after a couple weeks, you forget about it. it's definitely less distracting, but Substack itself is a whole new distraction!
That is a honest point. I find myself scroll and jumping around Substack just as much as other social media platforms to the point where I neglect my opportunities for creative writing. It becomes an exercise in being your own parent to go online.
I really loved this, Clancy. Like we’ve established before with other subjects, we had a very similar relationship with the internet too. I never did have an instagram or twitter account, but I’m still dealing with a lingering Reddit addiction that I can’t quite seem to kick. I’m a person who thinks, in general, I’d be better off not engaging with any of these platforms, but Substack has also made me have to reevaluate that feeling. Really impressed with this.
thank you bob. yeah and i think we have a similar sentimentality that the internet has beaten out of other people. and maybe some naïveté
I can't quite describe why I enjoyed this so much. but I did enjoy this very much.
that’s my whole thing. you read it and youre like why the fuck did i like this. thanks for reading jw
I enjoyed this post Clancy and could relate as per usual with your works. I guess I missed something along the way. I have to take breaks more often than I'd prefer. So it's not surprising I'm behind...but you make this place interesting for me. Love your writing, love the stories, and generally enjoy your notes. When I get back from a break, I always check in with your page. You brighten this online space for a lot of people. I hope you will stay for awhile longer.
thanks peter, i really appreciate it. you've been there the whole time. it's good you take breaks; i probably don't take as many as I need to. I dont want to let you down !
You probably have the urge to stop it all because of how many people are bad faith and would like nothing more than to see if you say something ‘cancelable’. The body is on defense all the time because smart sensitive people know they are being scrutinized. And it doesn’t feel good.
yeah definitely part of it. and the more popular you get, the more watchful people become
I can only imagine how my anxiety would get… But I keep on telling myself, ‘No one cancels me, only I choose or choose not to cancel myself’.
You’ve gotten very far, so I’m probably here to help tell you not to give up on your dreams. Don’t give up!🤘
Did you ever figure out how to get AOL Instant Messenger back up and running? I too was absolutely sick at it. One more dying Medium that I mastered too late.
i am pretty sure you can still very simply download it
I’m afraid to
I really enjoyed this -- I'm sorry substack can be hard, but I really resonated with the experience you're describing, and it's nice to know another writer I admire is grappling with similar difficulties. In the end, substack works for me (and it sounds like, you) better than any other platform, but that definitely doesn't mean it's perfect.
thanks for reading caroline. substack is great, but like you said it’s still social media all the same and it gives me all the discomforts. trying to work my way through it instead of abandoning it like everything else. i’m sure you’re handling it far better than i am!
Hey Clancy,
It's my first time reading you, and I find your clear style and well-thought-out sentences inspiring. Keep writing.
Best,
Mahdi
thanks mahdi. check out some of my fiction.
"P.S. I forgot Discord:" For some reason, this cracked me up, i loved it. And good luck finding the balance of engagement. Just seeing the number of comments on your post makes me panicky!
thanks trilety! you know how i feel then hahah. blessing and curse
I do this: Nearly every day I fight the impulse to flee—to quit cold turkey and save myself—as I did with these other platforms.
I guess I come back to the “reading and writing” like you say. And the authenticity. Nice reflection.
thank you for reading kate. i, for one, and glad we both are winning the fight.
This is very interesting. As someone who basically avoided social media until Substack (aside from occasionally reading & getting banned from reddit) I sometimes feel like my brain is cleaner than my peers.
thanks Daniel, I feel like it's not so much cleaner, but unexposed. I think it left me out of a lot of the prevailing popular thought of the time and i need to catch up on it. but also, that worldview is what makes me unique. so it is, as you say, interesting.
The way you've written about the internet feels more honest than what I'm used to seeing, for example from people like Patricia Lockwood. I'd love to see these sites depicted in fiction as they really are/were. For example I've always felt that 90% of the reason men use social media is to chase girls, but it's somewhat taboo to just say that. Seems like an interesting to thing to write about, for someone who participated in that culture.
i only used dating apps to chase girls. i think the reality is 90% of life is to chase girls for a lot of men and thereby social media was an ends to that. you're not wrong. if someone is going to write that novel it won't be me because i skipped out
Yet you wrote, "I had a Tumblr to follow girls I liked." I think a lot of men use Instagram for the same reason. And some men pontificate on Twitter to attract women. And yes, that is true about men in general. But like I said, it's kind of a taboo to admit it. Someone who can break that taboo in the right way will make great art.
ah yeah i guess in my head on that front i thought fb and instagram. i’m not sure about that. trying to imagine it
At the very instant the messenger
Invaded my space with the package
I resolved to face the book
With an instant gram of coffee
Dropped into vodka tumbler
Medium-roast, of course
Listening to a sparrow’s twitter
I read it – twice
Noshing on a sub sandwich
Stacked with unsavory flavors
Really interesting reflections, Clancy. The ambivalence is real! I’m thinking back to before social media, and those times I wanted to share something, but didn’t know what or with who. So I’d write my diary. I’d probably have loved Substack back then, though!
it’s nice to have substack for sharing, for sure. thanks for reading wendy.