38 Comments
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George P Farrell's avatar

Wonderful story. You touched on all the uncomfortable things I experienced at that age. It is the things that nobody wants to talk about or remember that are the most interesting. There should be more like this on this site.

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

Thanks for the compliments George and thanks for reading. In this story I wanted to write about the things that maybe men find it difficult to talk about.

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George P Farrell's avatar

And you did so. Thanks for the story.

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Liz Zimmers's avatar

This was great! I’m sorry to admit that I laughed out loud at poor Dave’s misery and shame. You perfectly encapsulated the dreadful embarrassment and awkwardness of the early teens.

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

Don’t worry, you’re supposed to laugh! Thanks Liz!

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Laggy's avatar

My babysitter Jackie. She was my Maria. My crush on her made me feel more grown up, somehow.

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

There's always one. Thanks for reading, Laggy.

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Laggy's avatar

Have you ever seen Moonrise Kingdom?

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

I know it's Wes Anderson, who I generally like, but I have not seen it.

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Laggy's avatar

Check it out for sure. Very closely related to your short story.

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Andrei Atanasov's avatar

I actually did have a sort of coming-of-age experience at a camp. I was in eighth grade, and the onIy one of my friends with a girlfriend. I won’t say more. And no, it’s not quite what you may be thinking.

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

Thanks Andrei!! Sounds great…hope to read about it someday.

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Andrei Atanasov's avatar

Doubt it 😂

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Justin Deming's avatar

I loved this, Clancy! Those final two sentences are brilliant. I sympathized with the narrator, especially when it was suggested he leave the HP books behind. That detail about rereading book 4 before reading book 5 hit home for me because it summarizes my reading interests/habits growing up. I was obsessed with those books!

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

Thanks Justin. You can feel very alone when your books are ripped away from you. Those last two sentences were my favorite part.

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Ana Bosch's avatar

The first time I went camping I was 15, and when I undid my backpack, I realised I had not packed underwear. How about that for one week?!?!

I really enjoyed reading this story, Clancy. You have this knack of making the ordinary seem light, breezy, and meaningful.

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Silvio Castelletti's avatar

This is fantastic, Clancy! I was glued to the screen from beginning to end, hooked right from the start. There are so many great parts to highlight, I wouldn’t know which one to prioritize. But the one about the black and white photo at the end had me laughing out loud: 'In it, I am caught scratching through my hiking shorts at my balls, upon which a horrible rash had developed, no doubt because I had worn the same underwear for three days and nights in the dampness of the Green Mountains.' Wonderful job, my friend. Bravo!

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

Thanks Silvio, coming from you that means a lot. I think that’s my fave sentence in the whole thing.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Aw, Clancy. This was just charming. I never went to camp myself, but I would have approached it with the same trepidation as this poor kid. Great writing.

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

Thank you Sharron. Maybe you will get to camp someday!!

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Obsidian Blackbird.'s avatar

Great writing !! Us writers will even mine the most cringe moments for material.

I tried to be cool in my writing and only write about being cool... but then wrote about having when I sex with a hooker at 16.

https://obsidianblackbird.substack.com/p/the-careers-trip-i-become-a-rooster

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

Thanks OB! I’ll check it out.

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Jenn's avatar

Great foreshadowing— He learned a thing or two; and had to grow up and adapt and make do as we all hope our children when faced with new trials will!

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

Thanks Jenn! Indeed. That ending is my favorite part.

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Jenn's avatar

It was a good ending, satisfying.

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Sarah Emily Kemp's avatar

Great writing. Coming of age at it's finest. Wonderful pace and tone. Kept me 'just there' - last line is a peach 🍑

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

What a great set of compliments! Thank you Sarah!

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Dia Lupo's avatar

This was SUCH a fun read omg 🥹 introspective and wholesome and funny and all the good youthful things

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

Thanks Dia! I hope to grow up someday.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Oh no! Don't do that!

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Will Boucher's avatar

Oh boy...this was a treat of the highest magnitude! I got pulled away from my computer for a few hours when I was half way through. The whole time I was away, there was a pleasant nagging and curiosity to come back into this world and see it through. The characters have gravity and flesh and I see my vulnerabilities in them. One of my favs from you, Clancy!

(P.S. congrats on your life event!!!)

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

Thank you Mr. Boucher! I'm sure you're not the first one who was unable to complete in one sitting (that's what I'm hoping, anyway!). I'm glad you see your vulnerabilities in them, I think you and I can relate on a lot of levels.

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Sudana Krasniqi's avatar

Shit. That last line, not looking up anymore. I don’t know why that makes me so emotional but it does.

I guess he ain’t so gullible anymore.

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

Thanks! I like it because it implies he is a little older and wiser, but in a sort of ambiguous way.

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Anna Schott's avatar

So good! Poor Dave.

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

Thanks Anna. Yeah, he's going to be getting some other handwritten notes in awkward situations, I'm sure.

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Kathleen Clare Waller's avatar

Good to see you back! I really enjoyed this. The characters feel familiar and mysterious at the same time.

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Clancy Steadwell's avatar

Thanks Kate! Yeah the protagonist is definitely something like earlier narrators, and Uncle Dave is kind of like the dad in 'meromictic'. But there is definitely a grander story to them that is narrowed down to the context of the trip here.

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