Shopping with my wife goes something like this: I start having holes in my t-shirts so I decide to finally go. Within 5 minutes I have picked everything, paid, attempted to leave etc. But then something magical happens, she somehow manages to convince me she needs this this and that, and we spent 90 minutes shopping for her. I think she should have been a politician.
1. My husband is a PE teacher, so his wardrobe is athletic casual. He can handle that part without my help. If there's a dressy affair, I'll weigh in on the four or so combinations of pants/shirts/blazers he's accumulated over the years. And the few articles of clothing he owns that aren't warmup pants and polo shirts, I just outright bought for him without his input. 😂
2. Oh, I'm sure I peed my pants at some point, though I don't have any tragic memories associated with it. I don't like khaki pants either. I've worked a number of jobs that required me to wear them. I just think they look awful on everyone, and you can never find them easily outside of the Memorial Day to Labor Day window. I weirdly miss corduroys. As a mom, I now willingly embrace leggings and yoga pants as appropriate for most occasions.
3. Men have it easy!!! They can literally wear the same thing to 10 different weddings, and no one will notice. Women have to buy a new dress for every occasion in fear that the guests will REMEMBER they already wore something once before. I don't worry about this anymore. I own like six dresses, and I just rotate them. But I cared when I was younger. I also hate high-heels and haven't worn them since college. Pretty sure I wore Keds under my wedding dress.
Loved the simplicity of this story. Very heartwarming to know that it’s not only me who feels that when I go to the Kohls dressing room. My wife has the small role as Rachel, except that I get more veto powers because I’m never happy with my selection, and accordingly to my wife I choose exactly what she says Yes to.
Thanks for reading Raj, I’m glad you can relate to David’s and Rachel’s process! It is very simple, isn’t it? Sometimes life’s smallest tasks are big adventures. Check out some of my other stories or subscribe for similar themes!
This was the first piece of yours I've read and I absolutely loved it. My own memories of the computer lab came flooding back and you got me laughing quite a few times throughout. Thanks for this, great piece!
Yes, somewhat similar to you. I have to be in a very specific mood to shop for clothes. I like clothes, but the vast array of possibilities is too much for me, plus good, ethical clothes are fairly expensive. My ideal scenario is to have enough money to just pay for a personal shopper say twice a year.
Yes, when I was very young and we moved house and for some reason felt I needed to ask permission from my mother to go to the new-house toilet, yet my mother was off unpacking somewhere.
Went to a wedding earlier this year and their stipulation was essentially wear whatever you want. It was most refreshing.
Thanks Dr. Waller. I explored a similar structure and theme in my last post so I was a little hesitant to repeat it. Instead I decided to lean into it and plan on making some other posts that do the same.
This is lovely. I’m so glad you restacked so I could read it for the first time, years after publishing. The key line of the story for me was “if only I could have stepped into the memory.” The protagonist is unable to do something the narrator can do. There’s a mystery about this and it seems to be about gender. Men’s dependence on women to access emotional truths about themselves, and how that’s what love is built on.
that’s awesome!! thanks brenden. that’s a very astute observation…i think that is the theme in a lot of my stories re men and women accessing the emotional truths as you said…women are the keepers of society’s emotional truths, i think. i think some people would very much push back on “dependence”…they would say it’s not women’s job to mother boys…and i agree. but it’s just what happens! women are more emotionally mature at all phases of life
you’re right, “realist” tends to mean dirt and grime and mud of the real life…only proves that what i’m doing is excessively uncool. which is what i’m going for!
Loved this. We hate shopping over here too, especially for non everyday clothes. How to not feel awkward when we must try on clothes that our normal selves would never wear?
Good point Clancy. It’s stressful adhering to all these social norms. This hints at something I like about your stories; they highlight the significant things found in the “mundane.”
I never liked shopping with my father (kill me) but I did like going with my mum or the girl I was dating at the time. Something about men (generalising) that I've never liked or understood is their disinterest in clothing. I love clothes, fashion and personally love finding items to add to my wardrobe. I think I despise the tepid, subdued 'I'll go if I have to' like, are you a fucking child? Sorry.
The changing rooms and changing room mirrors are a very uncomfortable experience for me and I loved how you made me feel like I was there trying something on, just little details that add so much, using your other arm to keep your hand raised. I think most of us have felt this weight, this tiredness, in our school lives. I read Human Acts by Han Kang (I think you'd love it) and she's so good at adding little pieces to make the story and person so vivid, I think you do this very well too. I also peed my pants at school, this bastard wouldn't let me go and then my dad shouted at me for embarrassing myself all the way home. Good times.
thanks for reading Olly. I think the narrator himself is definitely a bit childish -- this is a theme echoed in my novel too, the need for mothering or a woman to be with them for shopping and to help them try things on, etc.
i really need to read Han Kang, heard so many good things so pleased with this comparison!
My husband finds clothes shopping abhorrent. Sure, I can buy him clothes in a pinch, but what I love is when he decides he "has to" go buy something. He finds one or two whatever-he-is-looking-for items and trudges into the dressing room. Then I get to work, and before he has had a chance to try on one of the items, I've slung a good dozen other potential items (of what he is looking for or what he doesn't even know he is looking for but needs) over the door for him to try on too. When we check out, he buys more than the intended he'd buy because my response to him is, "well, if it fits you and it's comfortable, you should probably get both/all so you don't have to go shopping again anytime soon."
Also, I recently avoided a wedding because invite was very aggressively worded as "semi-formal required." Who owns semi-formal anything anymore? (Hello, yoga pants, my old friends.) I waited just long enough to not have any time to buy something appropriate, plus it was outside... semi-formal means heels. Grass+Heel=No, thank you. I sent a nice wedding gift.
this made me cry. i peed my pants in elementary because i was just about to win a bingo game and i just recently wore a black sparkled dress to a “linen wedding”. thank you for this piece.
Shopping with my wife goes something like this: I start having holes in my t-shirts so I decide to finally go. Within 5 minutes I have picked everything, paid, attempted to leave etc. But then something magical happens, she somehow manages to convince me she needs this this and that, and we spent 90 minutes shopping for her. I think she should have been a politician.
I like her style. Let me know the next time you have holes in your t-shirts and I’ll be sure to take my hubby too! Your wife and I will have a ball!
1. My husband is a PE teacher, so his wardrobe is athletic casual. He can handle that part without my help. If there's a dressy affair, I'll weigh in on the four or so combinations of pants/shirts/blazers he's accumulated over the years. And the few articles of clothing he owns that aren't warmup pants and polo shirts, I just outright bought for him without his input. 😂
2. Oh, I'm sure I peed my pants at some point, though I don't have any tragic memories associated with it. I don't like khaki pants either. I've worked a number of jobs that required me to wear them. I just think they look awful on everyone, and you can never find them easily outside of the Memorial Day to Labor Day window. I weirdly miss corduroys. As a mom, I now willingly embrace leggings and yoga pants as appropriate for most occasions.
3. Men have it easy!!! They can literally wear the same thing to 10 different weddings, and no one will notice. Women have to buy a new dress for every occasion in fear that the guests will REMEMBER they already wore something once before. I don't worry about this anymore. I own like six dresses, and I just rotate them. But I cared when I was younger. I also hate high-heels and haven't worn them since college. Pretty sure I wore Keds under my wedding dress.
No input!? Haha, at least David in the story got some vetos!
Great point about the women’s dress code, I think most men would crumple under such expectation.
Thanks for reading Meg, and don’t forget -- you’re never too old to traumatize yourself by being your pants.
Same shopping scenario for me. I don't know where our women find the patience.
Neither do I. Thanks for reading Mr. Cummings.
What a beautifully written story. I was smiling all the way.
Loved the simplicity of this story. Very heartwarming to know that it’s not only me who feels that when I go to the Kohls dressing room. My wife has the small role as Rachel, except that I get more veto powers because I’m never happy with my selection, and accordingly to my wife I choose exactly what she says Yes to.
Thanks for reading Raj, I’m glad you can relate to David’s and Rachel’s process! It is very simple, isn’t it? Sometimes life’s smallest tasks are big adventures. Check out some of my other stories or subscribe for similar themes!
This was the first piece of yours I've read and I absolutely loved it. My own memories of the computer lab came flooding back and you got me laughing quite a few times throughout. Thanks for this, great piece!
Thank you Peter! I read one of yours earlier and I think we both like to explore memory and how comes back to us. Much appreciated.
You're very welcome, and yes my Substack project is certainly very much about remembering.
I'm not married but I learned so much about relationships in such a small amount of time, and through a great story too.
Thanks Mr. Lalljee, what a great compliment! Glad you enjoyed.
It is well deserved Mr. Steadwell
1. She suggests, I say yes ma’am no ma’am whatever you say ma’am
2. Often and without apology
3. No shoes, no shirt, no service
Three great suggestions for life in general. Thanks for reading Mr. Hilgendorf.
Very nice piece, I enjoyed it! Tight and well written and you have your own voice
Yes, somewhat similar to you. I have to be in a very specific mood to shop for clothes. I like clothes, but the vast array of possibilities is too much for me, plus good, ethical clothes are fairly expensive. My ideal scenario is to have enough money to just pay for a personal shopper say twice a year.
Yes, when I was very young and we moved house and for some reason felt I needed to ask permission from my mother to go to the new-house toilet, yet my mother was off unpacking somewhere.
Went to a wedding earlier this year and their stipulation was essentially wear whatever you want. It was most refreshing.
Hey, similar pee-permission situation to the story. I wonder how many kids have had similar experiences! Thanks for reading Mr. Slake.
The connection between now and childhood is fantastic 🖤
Thanks Dr. Waller. I explored a similar structure and theme in my last post so I was a little hesitant to repeat it. Instead I decided to lean into it and plan on making some other posts that do the same.
Glad you enjoyed that aspect!
I think it’s amazing the way the seemingly trivial things of childhood can affect this. It really works.
1. Old Navy
2. Daily
3. Bullocks
This is lovely. I’m so glad you restacked so I could read it for the first time, years after publishing. The key line of the story for me was “if only I could have stepped into the memory.” The protagonist is unable to do something the narrator can do. There’s a mystery about this and it seems to be about gender. Men’s dependence on women to access emotional truths about themselves, and how that’s what love is built on.
that’s awesome!! thanks brenden. that’s a very astute observation…i think that is the theme in a lot of my stories re men and women accessing the emotional truths as you said…women are the keepers of society’s emotional truths, i think. i think some people would very much push back on “dependence”…they would say it’s not women’s job to mother boys…and i agree. but it’s just what happens! women are more emotionally mature at all phases of life
Yes I think your writing is very realist in that way. But like…tenderly. Which isn’t usually a word to describe realism lol
you’re right, “realist” tends to mean dirt and grime and mud of the real life…only proves that what i’m doing is excessively uncool. which is what i’m going for!
Loved this. We hate shopping over here too, especially for non everyday clothes. How to not feel awkward when we must try on clothes that our normal selves would never wear?
exactly. and how awkward we feel all the time when society restricts us less we face judgement? you might say as awkward as peeing our pants.
thanks for reading, as ever Deanna.
Good point Clancy. It’s stressful adhering to all these social norms. This hints at something I like about your stories; they highlight the significant things found in the “mundane.”
I never liked shopping with my father (kill me) but I did like going with my mum or the girl I was dating at the time. Something about men (generalising) that I've never liked or understood is their disinterest in clothing. I love clothes, fashion and personally love finding items to add to my wardrobe. I think I despise the tepid, subdued 'I'll go if I have to' like, are you a fucking child? Sorry.
The changing rooms and changing room mirrors are a very uncomfortable experience for me and I loved how you made me feel like I was there trying something on, just little details that add so much, using your other arm to keep your hand raised. I think most of us have felt this weight, this tiredness, in our school lives. I read Human Acts by Han Kang (I think you'd love it) and she's so good at adding little pieces to make the story and person so vivid, I think you do this very well too. I also peed my pants at school, this bastard wouldn't let me go and then my dad shouted at me for embarrassing myself all the way home. Good times.
thanks for reading Olly. I think the narrator himself is definitely a bit childish -- this is a theme echoed in my novel too, the need for mothering or a woman to be with them for shopping and to help them try things on, etc.
i really need to read Han Kang, heard so many good things so pleased with this comparison!
My husband finds clothes shopping abhorrent. Sure, I can buy him clothes in a pinch, but what I love is when he decides he "has to" go buy something. He finds one or two whatever-he-is-looking-for items and trudges into the dressing room. Then I get to work, and before he has had a chance to try on one of the items, I've slung a good dozen other potential items (of what he is looking for or what he doesn't even know he is looking for but needs) over the door for him to try on too. When we check out, he buys more than the intended he'd buy because my response to him is, "well, if it fits you and it's comfortable, you should probably get both/all so you don't have to go shopping again anytime soon."
Also, I recently avoided a wedding because invite was very aggressively worded as "semi-formal required." Who owns semi-formal anything anymore? (Hello, yoga pants, my old friends.) I waited just long enough to not have any time to buy something appropriate, plus it was outside... semi-formal means heels. Grass+Heel=No, thank you. I sent a nice wedding gift.
Haha getting shopping done in bunches is the best thing you can do.
And ai hear you on the semi formal thing. That is one of the most irritating things that I was trying to point out with this story.
this made me cry. i peed my pants in elementary because i was just about to win a bingo game and i just recently wore a black sparkled dress to a “linen wedding”. thank you for this piece.
btw, don’t even wanna know what a linen wedding is
I’m glad it moved you! Thanks for reading c.s. —