"The robin shits and flies away." LOL. I truly love the social-media-free life, aside from Substack, of course. The robin is smarter than all of us. Great post, Clancy.
I love your humour in this story. Reminds me of my dad and other middle aged/older men who always seek out the cheapest, most practical alternative, which coincidentally is always the most masculine option. The ending, where your character has hope that this monstrous baby of consumerism and social media might have some actual real purpose, was a lovely heartfelt touch. Then the robin lets the world know what it thinks of the stork landing pad.
thanks for reading olly! yeah i think the “masculine” option is just taking it into your own hands—self reliance and whatnot. but what does it matter if you don’t show it off?? and thanks for commenting on the ending, I liked that part as well and didn’t have it in mind when i wrote it, just kinda came out
There were many a hilarious time of watching my dad dig a grave of self-reliance before somehow pulling it out of the bag 😅 I often find that the parts of writing that just seem to happen without any premeditation are usually the best parts of the story.
Good one Clancy...I mostly enjoyed this glimpse into this guy's view of marriage and being a husband and father. This stork landing pad is absurd though 😆
This story is quietly funny and observant—the narrator’s voice is sharp, honest, and vividly alive, making the absurdity of the stork landing pads feel tangible and immediate. I loved the care in the small details, from the labor of the DIY process to the moments of reflection and struggle that make the narrator so relatable. At the same time, the story drifts at points: the digressions into consumerism, Etsy, and modern parenting trends are witty and insightful, but they sometimes pull attention away from the central narrative of building the landing pad. These asides give the story a sketch-like quality, which is amusing, but they can make it feel slightly diffuse. Still, it’s inventive, engaging, and full of keen observation, and I truly enjoyed reading it. With a bit more focus on the core story, and some gentle shaping of the narrative so the digressions serve to enhance rather than overshadow it, this story could become even more resonant—a piece that is both funny and emotionally grounded, and that leaves a lasting impression on the reader. My sincere gratitude for this clever and funny story, and I’m looking forward to reading your next one 💫✨💫
I promise I will read your other stories; I’m new to Substack, a bit like a lost soul wandering through the digital darkness of waterways and forests, yet the full potential of your storytelling is here, ready to be pinned down—or perhaps left out of the bottle, free.
It ain't consumerism, it's the dread of the cold reality, this is what it is. I was so happy for our baby shower, all the balloon-popping and pink/blue ambiguity until the reveal - because it was farewell to out whole community before we move across the entire US to the state we had no desire to be in.
We've found great friends here as well, and we celebrated my kid's birthday with all the balloons and the toys and everything.
I ain't consumerism. It's life. I'd rather be building stork landing pads than moving across the country.
Great story, touching and intimate. Great work as always.
thank you naomi. i think it is a voice that is sort of more “online” than traditional literature. it is sort of like a personal essay or blog post but obviously it’s not since it’s about a fake thing. it’s my “faux autofiction”!
Excellent story, Clancy! I enjoyed it from start to finish. I’m generally out of the loop, but for a moment I was thinking to myself…come on, there’s no way this stork landing pad is real…phew. 😅
This was very fun and satirical and my brain immediately was like "hmmm, how could a stork delivery pad get any worse?" and then I thought of DINK/childless couples using said pads for their "fur babies" and wanted to shoot myself between the eyes.
Anyways this was clever and the robin taking a shit at the end was the perfect cherry on top!
My favorite types of stories are those, like this, with little flings of pathos at the end that speak to its purpose. You do this well here. Nice story 👍
This story reminds me to be grateful for my wife. Thank you for that.
same haha. thanks for reading zachary
Trends are like doughnuts. sweet and enticing on the outside yet hollow in the middle.
indeed, thanks for reading M Jarret!
Its not a Clancy story until something takes a shit.
always
ha ha ha ha ha! right you are
"The robin shits and flies away." LOL. I truly love the social-media-free life, aside from Substack, of course. The robin is smarter than all of us. Great post, Clancy.
same. i probably spend too much time on substack though LOL. thanks Parker, for reading, as always.
I love your humour in this story. Reminds me of my dad and other middle aged/older men who always seek out the cheapest, most practical alternative, which coincidentally is always the most masculine option. The ending, where your character has hope that this monstrous baby of consumerism and social media might have some actual real purpose, was a lovely heartfelt touch. Then the robin lets the world know what it thinks of the stork landing pad.
thanks for reading olly! yeah i think the “masculine” option is just taking it into your own hands—self reliance and whatnot. but what does it matter if you don’t show it off?? and thanks for commenting on the ending, I liked that part as well and didn’t have it in mind when i wrote it, just kinda came out
There were many a hilarious time of watching my dad dig a grave of self-reliance before somehow pulling it out of the bag 😅 I often find that the parts of writing that just seem to happen without any premeditation are usually the best parts of the story.
Good one Clancy...I mostly enjoyed this glimpse into this guy's view of marriage and being a husband and father. This stork landing pad is absurd though 😆
haha thanks peter you are absolutely right about that
This story is quietly funny and observant—the narrator’s voice is sharp, honest, and vividly alive, making the absurdity of the stork landing pads feel tangible and immediate. I loved the care in the small details, from the labor of the DIY process to the moments of reflection and struggle that make the narrator so relatable. At the same time, the story drifts at points: the digressions into consumerism, Etsy, and modern parenting trends are witty and insightful, but they sometimes pull attention away from the central narrative of building the landing pad. These asides give the story a sketch-like quality, which is amusing, but they can make it feel slightly diffuse. Still, it’s inventive, engaging, and full of keen observation, and I truly enjoyed reading it. With a bit more focus on the core story, and some gentle shaping of the narrative so the digressions serve to enhance rather than overshadow it, this story could become even more resonant—a piece that is both funny and emotionally grounded, and that leaves a lasting impression on the reader. My sincere gratitude for this clever and funny story, and I’m looking forward to reading your next one 💫✨💫
what an insightful comment! thanks for reading victoria. i’d wonder what you thought of some of my other fiction!
I promise I will read your other stories; I’m new to Substack, a bit like a lost soul wandering through the digital darkness of waterways and forests, yet the full potential of your storytelling is here, ready to be pinned down—or perhaps left out of the bottle, free.
It ain't consumerism, it's the dread of the cold reality, this is what it is. I was so happy for our baby shower, all the balloon-popping and pink/blue ambiguity until the reveal - because it was farewell to out whole community before we move across the entire US to the state we had no desire to be in.
We've found great friends here as well, and we celebrated my kid's birthday with all the balloons and the toys and everything.
I ain't consumerism. It's life. I'd rather be building stork landing pads than moving across the country.
Great story, touching and intimate. Great work as always.
thanks nick. i think the narrator should be a bit more grateful they have something so trivial to worry about!
Subscribed, this was hilarious and touching.
thanks MP!
Clancy, this is really good! There is something about your voice and the way you set up these very simple, compelling, thoroughly modern situations.
thank you naomi. i think it is a voice that is sort of more “online” than traditional literature. it is sort of like a personal essay or blog post but obviously it’s not since it’s about a fake thing. it’s my “faux autofiction”!
Excellent story, Clancy! I enjoyed it from start to finish. I’m generally out of the loop, but for a moment I was thinking to myself…come on, there’s no way this stork landing pad is real…phew. 😅
thank you justin!!!! yes, it truly is fiction hahah
You can turn a phrase. You got me laughing a few times. Thanks for that. I, too, abstain from (anti)social media and I'm a happier man for it.
I am now educated on the latest online inanity and I weep for the future.
By the way, sounds like you made a stool stool.
A STOOL STOOL hahaha. thanks so much for reading duncan!
This was very fun and satirical and my brain immediately was like "hmmm, how could a stork delivery pad get any worse?" and then I thought of DINK/childless couples using said pads for their "fur babies" and wanted to shoot myself between the eyes.
Anyways this was clever and the robin taking a shit at the end was the perfect cherry on top!
thanks erichka. ho-lee shit. you’re right about the fur babies delivery hahaha
a perfect last line. This was great.
thanks stephanie!
Please, tell me this is ALL FICTION 🙏🏼
google stork landing pad and you’ll see it is
Wild 😳
My favorite types of stories are those, like this, with little flings of pathos at the end that speak to its purpose. You do this well here. Nice story 👍
thank you evan! most of my stories are kinda like that I think.