It definitely is dark in a way, isn’t it? I’m glad it made you think! Thanks for reading Sharron, especially since you’re picky! -- that’s ok, so am I.
Like your story. I really like your retirement themes. ‘ retired to be a professional consumer’ and then as his wife retired from good health.... lovely ideas. 👍
This may be a repost you just put up on notes from a year ago but you have a very interesting style, I'm starting to notice. This doesn't read so much as what I'd conceive of as fiction in the modern (post modern, hypermodern, whatever, I don't know where I am, or who you are!) sense. It reads more like a parable.
I mean that in a good way.
"How will we maintain human connection in a world marching towards automation and impersonality?" : The same way we've dealt with repeated moral technological panics for the past 400 years, by continuing to be human. Humans crave connection. There may be horrible things lying between here and an answer to the problem. It'd distinctly of the now, and getting worse with every think piece the Atlantic puts out about it. But there will, I honestly believe, be a point of honest to god reconnect (as after the Pandemic abated slightly, people started existing together in public again, albeit much differently than before. I miss my local vegan brunch buffet.)
"When do you enjoy silence and time alone with your own thoughts?" : When I want it and when I can get it. I'm not going to claim this is the time in which I incubate ideas, or in which I think great thoughts, but I do like my alone time, if only so I can listen to Father John Misty in peace.
Hey Emil, thanks for reading, for real. I definitely accept and love your compliment re: it as more of a parable, I feel that too and I felt it when I wrote it. Do you think this comes out in some of my other work as well?
So far what I've read that you've written is very well composed but has what I would call a classically anachronistic voice to it. I don't think this is a bad thing. Plenty of people probably would, but I believe that there's something to be said for having a voice knowing your point being concise &I find it incredibly novel to read contemporary writing that has been composed in a classical third person omniscient viewpoint for the most part.
It can give the writing a much different scale and scope. As opposed to close third, or wandering free indirect discourse (one of my preferred modes of composition, along with first person because I started out cutting my teeth on dangerous writing as filtered through Chuck Palahniuk) seen but while it is seen as mostly on the outs I think in a piece like this that reads more like a parable, maybe in a systems novel, anything where you need very large scope of view, it can be helpful to have a completely omniscient recontour.
However, I also noticed in a lot of this piece it isn't delving deep into motivation. We don't need to know why the protagonist is doing what he's doing. It's self-evident. There are two ways of making that self-evident the way that you chose was mostly by making statements of fact about the fictional world you were creating. Which all things aside is you know sort of, of the moment. But just because it didn't zoom in on the character and his interiority it instead established a great deal of authority just by saying what was happening. Making it seem much more like a historical account, which when you're writing fiction I found personally in my experience tends to make things read more like a parable or a story that has a moral behind it. In a good way if you do it right in a bad way if you do it wrong. Don't mistake me. You're due a very good job here of walking a very razor edge tightrope.
But you pulled it off and that's all that matters.
Also f*** you. I didn't want my eyes leaking. It's just Dusty in here. I've been cleaning all day. Go to hell.
Oh, my! What a beautiful ending, Clancy. The last letter-writer. Such a charming story. Albeit, charming with an edge of darkness under it. I don't know the answer to your first questions. I will be dead by then and not have to worry about what humanity will become. I am one of the fortunate ones who is never lonely. A woman of many inner resource, I do not crave much companionship. Still, I have a large, pink mailbox, standing out front ready for any letter someone wants to put in it. A tentative invitation. Fine writing, Steadwell -- and I am picky about what I read.
Such an interesting premise! And some really beautiful lines in there; I enjoyed the one about the Sundays, and the how he names each house in his own way. I would love to see this developed further with more character building of the wife / mom / more on what moves the main character, and maybe even more world building too; how else has the world changed with all this automation? Very exciting work either way, the opening line is a real hook.
Thanks Anagha! I definitely felt myself compelled to explore those things as well, but I constrained myself to a certain length of short story that I think is most amenable to Substack. But I’m you picked up on the world-building because one thing I like about this story is that it incorporates this little tiny bit of science fiction about the near future, which is different than most of literary fiction work.
Thanks for subscribing! I’m not quite what you’d call a prolific Substack writer, I only write when true inspiration strikes, so I can never be sure when I’ll post. So if you want, check out some of my past stories, I think some are better than this one.
I found your poems recently and the quality definitely demands more readership, it’s incredible the talent unearthed on Substack!
I'll be sure to check out your other work! Ah and thanks <3 I'm really trying to share poetry that is accessible to as many people as possible, without compromising on quality or substance. At least, that's the goal!
It definitely is dark in a way, isn’t it? I’m glad it made you think! Thanks for reading Sharron, especially since you’re picky! -- that’s ok, so am I.
Like your story. I really like your retirement themes. ‘ retired to be a professional consumer’ and then as his wife retired from good health.... lovely ideas. 👍
Why thank you Mick, thanks for reading! I particularly like the wife retirement line as well.
This may be a repost you just put up on notes from a year ago but you have a very interesting style, I'm starting to notice. This doesn't read so much as what I'd conceive of as fiction in the modern (post modern, hypermodern, whatever, I don't know where I am, or who you are!) sense. It reads more like a parable.
I mean that in a good way.
"How will we maintain human connection in a world marching towards automation and impersonality?" : The same way we've dealt with repeated moral technological panics for the past 400 years, by continuing to be human. Humans crave connection. There may be horrible things lying between here and an answer to the problem. It'd distinctly of the now, and getting worse with every think piece the Atlantic puts out about it. But there will, I honestly believe, be a point of honest to god reconnect (as after the Pandemic abated slightly, people started existing together in public again, albeit much differently than before. I miss my local vegan brunch buffet.)
"When do you enjoy silence and time alone with your own thoughts?" : When I want it and when I can get it. I'm not going to claim this is the time in which I incubate ideas, or in which I think great thoughts, but I do like my alone time, if only so I can listen to Father John Misty in peace.
Great story Clancy.
Hey Emil, thanks for reading, for real. I definitely accept and love your compliment re: it as more of a parable, I feel that too and I felt it when I wrote it. Do you think this comes out in some of my other work as well?
Love FJM, btw.
So far what I've read that you've written is very well composed but has what I would call a classically anachronistic voice to it. I don't think this is a bad thing. Plenty of people probably would, but I believe that there's something to be said for having a voice knowing your point being concise &I find it incredibly novel to read contemporary writing that has been composed in a classical third person omniscient viewpoint for the most part.
It can give the writing a much different scale and scope. As opposed to close third, or wandering free indirect discourse (one of my preferred modes of composition, along with first person because I started out cutting my teeth on dangerous writing as filtered through Chuck Palahniuk) seen but while it is seen as mostly on the outs I think in a piece like this that reads more like a parable, maybe in a systems novel, anything where you need very large scope of view, it can be helpful to have a completely omniscient recontour.
However, I also noticed in a lot of this piece it isn't delving deep into motivation. We don't need to know why the protagonist is doing what he's doing. It's self-evident. There are two ways of making that self-evident the way that you chose was mostly by making statements of fact about the fictional world you were creating. Which all things aside is you know sort of, of the moment. But just because it didn't zoom in on the character and his interiority it instead established a great deal of authority just by saying what was happening. Making it seem much more like a historical account, which when you're writing fiction I found personally in my experience tends to make things read more like a parable or a story that has a moral behind it. In a good way if you do it right in a bad way if you do it wrong. Don't mistake me. You're due a very good job here of walking a very razor edge tightrope.
But you pulled it off and that's all that matters.
Also f*** you. I didn't want my eyes leaking. It's just Dusty in here. I've been cleaning all day. Go to hell.
Eyes are blurry💧did not see that coming
Oh, my! What a beautiful ending, Clancy. The last letter-writer. Such a charming story. Albeit, charming with an edge of darkness under it. I don't know the answer to your first questions. I will be dead by then and not have to worry about what humanity will become. I am one of the fortunate ones who is never lonely. A woman of many inner resource, I do not crave much companionship. Still, I have a large, pink mailbox, standing out front ready for any letter someone wants to put in it. A tentative invitation. Fine writing, Steadwell -- and I am picky about what I read.
Such an interesting premise! And some really beautiful lines in there; I enjoyed the one about the Sundays, and the how he names each house in his own way. I would love to see this developed further with more character building of the wife / mom / more on what moves the main character, and maybe even more world building too; how else has the world changed with all this automation? Very exciting work either way, the opening line is a real hook.
Thanks Anagha! I definitely felt myself compelled to explore those things as well, but I constrained myself to a certain length of short story that I think is most amenable to Substack. But I’m you picked up on the world-building because one thing I like about this story is that it incorporates this little tiny bit of science fiction about the near future, which is different than most of literary fiction work.
Yeah! Sci fi is such a great vehicle; looking forward to seeing what else you come up with
Thanks for subscribing! I’m not quite what you’d call a prolific Substack writer, I only write when true inspiration strikes, so I can never be sure when I’ll post. So if you want, check out some of my past stories, I think some are better than this one.
I found your poems recently and the quality definitely demands more readership, it’s incredible the talent unearthed on Substack!
I'll be sure to check out your other work! Ah and thanks <3 I'm really trying to share poetry that is accessible to as many people as possible, without compromising on quality or substance. At least, that's the goal!
Chapeau!!! I feel like Ernie more often than a millennial should. Great story!
Thanks Bryan!
Love how the lapses in time transition so well. Can’t tell if this story takes place within a two week span or a 50 year span. Either way I’m inspired
Thank you Ason, portraying the passing of time was one of the more difficult aspects of this story so I appreciate that compliment greatly.
Damn man, I was not intending to cry this morning. Thanks a lot. ❤️🩹
Haha sorry! Thanks for reading!
HOLY CRAP THIS WAS POIGNANT
Lindsay, I’ve just discovered your ‘stack, and that means a lot coming from you. Well done and thank you for reading!
Beautiful he said, weeping.
Cry no more! Thanks for reading Dave.
hey thanks. onward!
This is a good’n. All the feels.
Thank ya Daisy, I’ve read your prose lately and that means a lot coming from you!
Wow
This storytelling is one of the best reads anywhere. Great Writing.
Thank you
Thank you Mark. It never gets old receiving compliments like this from strangers. So grateful!
What a great compliment. Thanks Mr. Fitzsimons.